Protector
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: Even if Clyde doesn't like me like Bebe... At least I feel protected and loved for a few fleeting moments. If this is all I have left, I'll embrace it. I just want to be protected. I just wanted someone to hold me. I just want someone to tell me it was going to be alright. Even if it's not true. Mysterion, where are you? ClydexKaren. One-shot.


**I've been sick lately, so in my delirious state I was like, "A cuddly chubby guy with an emotionally fragile girl? Totally!" I have to admit it was supposed to be fluff... Then it went downhill really friggen fast like everything else.**

**Oh, and Karen is turning into a little Kenny.** **God dang it!**

**I hope you like this crack-pairing.**

* * *

"You always told me to never give up and this is what you're doing?! You're not even going to try? _Hypocrite_! You goddamn hypocrite!" a voice rang out from the thin walls. I cuddled into my pillow tighter.

"I've been thinking a lot lately. This isn't working out Clyde..." there was a bit of silence. "Are you crying?"

"What if I am?! I still care. I still want this to work." I heard a stifled sob. "I gave you everything. I told you everything. What else do you want from me?"

"Clyde, I don't want this anymore."

"That's it then? Fine, fine! Get out, just get out of here Bebe!"

I heard a slam of doors and more bickering until the whole apartment went silent. I could still hear Clyde's shaky sighs. I rustled out of my bed, the pads of my feet making a patter noise against the hardwood floors.

I peered behind the wall to see Clyde, sitting on the couch, holding his head.

His eyes met mine. I started his way, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Just go back to bed." he croaked, his head craned in the opposite direction.

I reached out to him, cradling him into my small bosom. Clyde buried his face into me. I was silent, brushing through his choppy brown locks. I could feel the front of his old jersey being soaked in tears and snot as he cried harder than I have ever seen in my whole life.

"Why does she do this? Is it because I'm fat?! I know I am. I- I-" his breath got hitched in his throat.

Seeing a kid cry is tough and seeing a girl cry pulls at your heart-strings. Seeing a man cry is one of the most depressing things I will ever experience. He gripped me like I was going somewhere, like a couple would before they departed on an airplane.

This is how these things start. Clyde is a narcissist by nature. He learns from someone that he's being used for something and Clyde resorts to eating more, then builds himself up like Cartman. Denying it and becoming more absorbed in himself. It was a cycle. His ego would deflate and inflate continuously.

But he was my best friend. I don't possibly want to lose him. I don't have a lot of options anymore. I have no one else to turn to. It was either adapt or be left behind.

"I don't know what's wrong and... I just don't know what I did. I tried my best. I was always faithful. I always bought her stuff. I was the best boyfriend a girl could have." he wiped his eyes angrily.

"It could be that her feelings changed." I lied. "Just give her some space, she always comes back."

"You're probably right Karen. You're always right." he smiled up at me.

I cuddled him into me.

I remember Ruby lecturing me: _"Clyde is so ugly. I can see why girls dig him for his stuff. Pimply, fat and not to mention he reeks of taco meat. That voice! Ugh... Do you have a brain tumor? Go with Ike or someone who is actually your own age and not some horn-ball."_

I never saw Clyde as that either.

Being around Clyde made me all warm and fuzzy. His optimism and his weird sense of humor, the way he laughs too... I didn't care if he was chubby or a taco fiend. Those arms of his... I needed them so badly.

I guess you could say Kenny wasn't around anymore. Kevin disappeared to God knows where.

Mom and Dad kicked me out a few weeks after my eighteen birthday. They couldn't claim me for money anymore. I was just another mouth to feed. Dead weight.

I remember being in a sobbing fit, standing in the middle of town with only a duffel bag filled with a few pairs of clothes and a few things from my room. The rest of the stuff they kept.

I spent that whole day going house to house until finally Clyde came to mind. I knew Clyde from staying the night at Ruby's. He would be downstairs with Craig, playing video games on the couch. I always made excuses just to see him. The way he smiled at me back then made my heart burst.

Ruby always talked about Clyde's bachelor pad he had on the bad side of town. The little apartment building that was starting to fall apart.

When I came to his door he was hesitant but I remember nearly falling to my knees, pleading with him.

With Kenny gone I have no one left to protect me.

I'm eighteen and he's twenty-four. A taboo kind of thing. It's not much of an age thing either. It's just how it sounds. But, don't get me wrong... Kenny would kill us both if he would have found out.

I clutched onto Clyde tighter. "Why don't we stay up tonight?"

I'm not sure what I'm doing here.

"You don't have to." he muttered lowly, rubbing his nose.

I know I don't belong here. As you're reading this, your thinking to yourself how odd this is.

"Don't worry Clyde. It's a weekend night, I think we'll survive."

I have nowhere else to go. Ruby's family is just as dysfunctional as mine. Clyde was living in some cruddy apartment and working two jobs. It seems so fitting and yet, unfitting.

Regardless, it was my safe haven.

Clyde wouldn't be able to like me.

I'm just some girl. I'm just Kenny's sister. All those people who said all I did was cry... Look at me now. I've become the protector.

Kenny's gone now, I have no one to go to but myself.

Mysterion? He didn't even pity me anymore. When was the last time I saw him? Almost four years. Mysterion didn't care about me.

I still have my dolly. I don't know why. When I'm lonely I bring it close to me. I remember Kenny stitching the arms and eyes back on it. It would fall apart often and Kenny was always willing to fix it. He would fix anything if I asked him to. The dolly, it's the only thing that makes me feel like Kenny was around.

I sniffled, thinking back to Mysterion's words, _"You are not alone. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will always be here. Do you understand?"_

Liar.

Clyde let out a sigh, relaxing against me. I can't do anything. This dull ache presents itself in my chest.

_"Don't try Karen, do."_

Nothing good can come of this.

I snatched Clyde's face in my hands suddenly. This was all too familiar to me, lips fumbling and clothes being shed. We connect in that weird way. The way lovers should. The way you would if you loved someone.

Unfortunately, it's all the comfort I have left. Even if Clyde doesn't even like me like Bebe... At least I feel protected and loved for a few moments. If this is all I have left, I'll embrace it.

It's like I don't even know who I am anymore.

I just want to be protected. I just wanted someone to hold me. I just want someone to tell me it was going to be alright.

_"No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll always be here."_

I'll do anything for the fleeting feeling of protection.


End file.
